I am an avid blog reader. This endeavor will determine if I am a blog writer. I need to let you know that this may not be the best time for me to start blogging. My husband and I have recently left a church and there is a residual sense of failure and frustration. I had already left a church in 2006 and I processed that leaving to the point that I really don’t have much left in me to put the time and energy into processing this second leaving. In the 2006 leaving I went to counseling so I could understand my part and to try to not repeat the same patterns. Apparently, I did. But no matter how much processing or counseling I’ve done, these are life events that have changed me and I will carry forever.
So, I preface this first entry with these experiences so whoever reads this is aware that my journey has become more about moving away from the church than toward it. I can say that no matter what my experience has been with the church that I have always been drawn, intrigued, and tethered to the divine.
When I left the first church there were a few women who figured out how to attend that church and still maintain a relationship with me. I owe much of my healing to them. I still ached for others to reach out to me from that community. And the realization that I had caused pain to others haunts me. I compared it to a divorce and the father (or the lead pastor, in this case) got the kids and the house.
In this most recent departure I am very grateful that we will be able to continue building relationships with a small group. I have their permission to write about our discussions and I hope their comments will clarify anything that has come through my filter. As I have already confessed, my filter is biased. I will try to be clear when thoughts are going through my filter but I’m sure there will be some overlap. They know they can slap my hand when I misrepresent them.
About Me
- Deb Wiggins
- Fairfield, OH, United States
- I am most interested in helping people move toward healing and wholeness through Spiritual Direction. I have been trained in Spiritual Direction because I believe this approach helps you find those answers for your life that lie between you and your God. It is my hope to be part of the process that helps you find those answers and leads to true spiritual transformation.
2 comments:
Deb, for what it's worth, I don't think leaving the second church indicates a pattern in your behavior. I have met so many people in the past five years who are having exactly the same struggles with the church. As you pointed out, you walked away from a church, not the Divine.
My wife and I left our church years back it wasn't pretty. I on the other hand did walk away from God along with the church. Not immediately but over time. He chased me down and pulled me back, now we are at a new church, and i'm in the process of rebuilding my relationship with God after all the years of mess. I found your blog when searching for a pic for my blog. It was the inflatable church pic. While here I started reading, I liked it so far, so i'm gonna read the whole thing in order.
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