Speaking of Community

Yes, my comments about the community at Toddstock are very idealistic. We were together for one week and then we parted ways. Knowing there was an end in sight put us more at ease with each other. Our highest goals were to enjoy being on this leveling ground with an extremely gifted artist and to enjoy each other's company. Goals that were not difficult to achieve. There was a sign up sheet for each day where people signed up to cook, clean, etc. No manipulation, no big recruiting talks, just here's what needs to be done, now do something. We don't care if it's in the realm of your gifts, talents, or passion just make this happen so everyone can have what they need. So simple that you automatically gravitated to the tasks that you knew you could do fairly well or with someone's help. It all got done.

It was so much more difficult in a church community. In C. Church the unspoken goals were to produce the best image, numbers, and performance possible. The One we had come to be on leveling ground with was difficult to find and it was just too difficult to enjoy each other's company when image was such a concern. I was an outsider wanting to name problems and find solutions rather than pretending everything was fine. I moved further from the center because my temperament has no or little concern for image. I did not belong in this community anymore because the simple had become far too complicated for me.

I had hope in N. Church because this was certainly an open and affirming church. I had hope to find community in a church that refused to marginalize anyone. Turns out I had a better chance of not being marginalized if I were gay than hoping the Sunday worship were not so painfully traditional. I was told that it was a good thing that I was leaving because of the impact that it would have on the church as it grew and that it was my pattern to leave. I believe that if you are truly in community with a group - there is never a good time to leave. I'm certain my pattern had something to do with me leaving N. Church but I am certain that there were also patterns of other people coming into play here who weren't willing to own up.

Our small group of believers met this past Tuesday. We simply shared where we were emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Our relationships have been building for over a year now and this exercise opened us up to a deeper level. Strengths and weaknesses were shared. Goals met and goals yet to reach were shared. I shared with the group that my antidepressant had stopped working and that I appreciated their patience as I transitioned to a new one with the hope that it would lift this low level of depression. It was safe to be authentic with these people. I have received notes of encouragement and I will send them encouragement as well. Oh, the relief of not having to be someone else that I'm not. I can find Christ in the midst of that grace. Our goal is simple - to be a place of healing and encouragement to each other so we might bring some light to our families, friends, and coworkers. No performance, no numbers, no salaries, no building campaign, no one speaking for 45 minutes - just friends trying to follow Christ. We met Saturday morning at St. Raphael Social Services to do whatever needed to be done and again we enjoyed each other's company. I am done with church. If it works for you, that's wonderful but I am done with being marginalized by people who call themselves Christians.

Community

Our small group met last night and, in the midst of watching the primary results, came to the consensus that we prefer to call ourselves a community group instead of a small group. The term "community" reflects more of a way of being together. We had a few minutes of conversation around the identity of our community and arrived at the following:

• Our priority is on building relationships and providing support to each other.


• We value time spent in discussion in a more organic manner vs. programming.


• We seek ministry projects to pursue separately and together.


• We want music and other forms of expression.


• We want our discussions to be guided by questions that come from our community.


• We want to rotate the leadership of the discussions.


• We want to pursue the purpose of prayer in our community.


• We want each person to check in periodically when we meet so we can be more transparent with each other.


• We love the evenings that are just for fun.


• We'll always find ourselves around a dinner table and enjoying good food.

We tossed around exploring books like the one I have mentioned in previous posts, Pagan Christianity. I also threw out the thought of discussing the similarities and differences between a Christian and a disciple as mentioned in this blog under the second point. We talked about discussing our views of the Holy Spirit. It was also mentioned that we need think about how we could be intentional about reaching out to those who visit our group.

The next time we meet will be on March 18th. We are going to dinner and then to Via Crucis. I highly encourage you to visit this immersion into the stories of the Stations of the Cross. It allows each individual to experience the stories again in their own way. You are welcome to join us or check the schedule and go when you can.